Saturday, May 28, 2011

Booklist: How To Talk To A Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter

"I am often asked if I still think we should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity. The answer is: Now more than ever!"

I've never cared for Coulter - I dislike people who use never-ending sarcasm as "razor sharp wit and incisive commentary," but I just had to comment on this statement of hers. Replace Islam with Christianity in the sentence above, and you've got exactly what fundamentalist Muslims want to do to the Christian world. But because it's Christians wanting to do it to Muslims, that's all right? That's civilized? [Don't get me wrong, Islam is a lot worse than Christianity, and I feel fortunate to live in a secular country with a Christian history, but still....)

The only hope for peace in the world is for everyone to be converted to atheism. After 4,000 years of bloodshed over who is the "one true God" (in particular in that holiest of cities of all the world, Jeruselum, it would seem obvious that that is the only recourse.)


How To Talk To A Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter, by Ann Coulter
Crown Forum, 2004
344 pages plus index. No photos
Library: 320.513 COU

Description
"Historically, the best way to convert liberals is to have them move out of their parent's home, get a job, and start paying taxes. But if this doesn't work, you night have to actually argue with a liberal."

Welcome to the world of Anne Coulter. With her monumental best sellers Treason, Slander and High Crimes and Misdemeanors, Coulter has become the most recognized and talked about conservative intellectual in years-and certainly the most controversial.

Now, in How to Tslk to a Liberal (If You Must), which is sure to ignite impassioned debate, she offers her most comprehensive analysis of the American political scene to date. With incisive reasoning, refreshing candor, and razor-sharp wit, she reveals just why liberals have got it so wrong.

In this powerful and entertaining book, which draws on her weekly columns, Coulter ranges far and wide. No subject is off-limits, and no comment is left unsaid. After all, she writes, "Nothing too extreme can be said about liberals because it's all true."

How to Talk to a Liberal (If you Must) offers Coulter's unvarnished take on:

* The Essence of being a liberal: "The absolute conviction that there is one set of rules for you, and another, completely different set of rules for everyone else."
*JOhn Kerry: "A reporter asked Kerry, "Are you for or against gay marriage? As usual, his answer was'yes.'"
* Her 9/11 comments: "I am often asked if I still think we should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity. The answer is: Now more than ever!"
* The state of the Democratic party: "Teddy Kennedy crawls out of Boston Harbor with a quart of Scotch in one hand and a pair of pantyhose in the other, and Democrats hail him as their party's spiritual leader."
*Her philosophy for arguing with Liberals: "Tough love, except I dont' love them. My 'tough love' approach is like the Democrat's 'middle-class tax cuts'-everything but the last word.
*The "Treason Lobby": "Want to make liberals angry? Defend the United States."

In this full-on Coulterpalooza, you'll find the eal, uncensored Ann COulder. A special concluding chapter even includes the pieces that squeamish editors refused to publish - "What you could have read if you lived in a free country," says Coulter.

How to Talk to A Liberal (If you must) is a stunning reminder of why Ann Coulter's commentary has achieved must-read status.

Table of Contents
1. How to talk to a Liberal

2. This is war
-How 9/11 happened
-This is war
-The Hun at the gate
-Attack France!
-My I turn down your bed, Mohammad?
-Build them back
-This whistle-blower they like
-My name is Adolf
-Beauty pageants can be murder
-War-torm Democrats
-"Will of Allah" preempts Iraq invasion
-Kissing cousins: New York literati and Nazis
-The Enemy within
-At least Saddam wasn't at tailback!
-Liberals meet unexpected resistance
-We don't care
-Taking liberties
-How to lose a war
-"The plan"
-It's like Christmas in December
-Al Qaeda barks, the Spanish fly
-Tit for Tet
-This is history calling - quick, get me rewrite!

3. A Muslim by any other name blows up just the same
-John DAvis: American hero
-Where's Janet Reno when we need her?
-HillaryCare for the airports
-The new Roman arena: Airports
-Would Mohammed Atta object to armed pilots?
-Thank you for choosing United, Mr. Bin Laden
-Arab hijackers now available for pre-boarding
-Even with hindsight Liberals can't see straight

4. At least they didn't run Jimmy Carter this time
-American women to Kerry: We don't think you're so hot, either
-General Democrat
-The Party of ideas
-The Jesus thing
-What happened to your queer party friends?
-Just a gigolo
-Boobs in the news
-In Desperate move, Kerry adopts puppy

5. Barbra Streisand feels your pain (according to her publicist)
-I like black people too, Julia!
-Dumb hires dumber
-Checks and balances, but mostly checks
-The Robert C. Byrd bridge to poverty
-Chair-warmer on the hot seat

6. When Bad Ideas (Liberalism) Happens to Good People (You)
-The New York Times crusade against capitalism
-It's just about money
-This just in: Proce controls cause shortages
-The Democratic laboratory: The host organism dies
-Nine out of ten caribou support drilling
-All the news we heard from a guy at handgun control, inc.

7. More Liberal Ideas! Sex, Segregation, Gay marriage, and banning the G-word (God)
-Chicks with D****
-Democrats: A Lott of trouble
-Ashcroft and the blowhard discuss desegregation
-Bizarre political sect ousted from Judicial nomination process
--Liberals shocked-Rush not Jesus Christ
-It's the Winter Solstice, Charlie Brown!
-Massachusetts Supreme Court abolishesc apitalism!
-The passion of the Liberal
-WWJK? Who would Jesus kill?
-Let's rewrite one for the Gipper

8. The Battle Flag.

9. Give us 22 Minutes, We'll Give Up the Country
-Great grey lady in spat with saloon hussy
-How a white male from Alabama learned the craft of journalim from a young reporter named Jayson Blair
-The Weather's Great, Wish I Were here
-Here's a Traior!
-CBS Should show Augusta how to really discriminate
-Give us 22 minutes
, we'll give up the country
-Journalism: Where even the men are women
-I guess you're right: there is no media liberal bias

Say, Does Anyone Know if Max Cleland Lost His Limbs in Combat?
-Cleland Drops a political grenade
-My readers respond
-File under: Omission accomplished
-My readers respond (pt 2)

11. The Only Cop the New York Times likes is the one in the Village People
-They weren't overzealous this time
-Murdering the bell curve
-The New York Times goes Wilding on the Central Park jogger
DNA Evidence exonerates Hitler!
-Media Support Citizenship awards for Central Park Rapists

12. What the Clinton's Ghostwriters Should Have Written
-At least with Monica he only bit his own lip
-Hillary-Pro-dung
-We're number two!
-These charges are false-Reel no. 857
-Liberals shocked: Impeached felon took ottoman
--Tell him there's a stopover in Bangkok
-True Grit
-Moby's dick

13. Elian Gonzalez: The Only Immigrant Liberals Ever Wanted Deported

14. The Democrat's New Symbol: Two sets of standards
-Elections in Clintonville
-New equal protection clause: one man, several votes
-The liar next time
-This is what the Electoral College is supposed to prevent
-The law, not the court, has the last word
-Certify the electors, then the judges
-Things only a Democrat will say with a straight face
-National Lampoon's Florida Supreme Court Vacation
-My court is bigger than your court

15. Hello, Room Service? Send up a bottle, a blonde and a gun
-Ruger is a girl's best friend
-I'd burn my neighbor's house down
-Drug shills
-Capitol punishment
-A Republican tribute to John

16. What You Could Have Read if you Lived in a Free Country
-Call Me Ms.
-This Congressman bought for you by the New York Times
-Sally does Monticello
-If you sup with the devil, use a long spoon

Acknowledgments
Index

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